July 2024 Letter

The last month has been a flurry of activities. Too many things to get done and not enough time. We've encountered challenges that we were at a loss on how to proceed. We were moving to France and we didn't know if we were going to get our house sold in time, we had some requirements to meet before we could fly out, we got to France and we were chasing our tails in seemingly catch-22 situations.

But the universe has a funny way of teaching us our life lessons. This lesson for me was to learn to reach out for help.

I grew up in a family where whatever favor you receive is held over your head for as long as it can be remembered. So I swore to myself that I wouldn't be beholden to anyone. I would make it through the world on my own... 

I never asked for more than my allowance. I was able to obtain scholarships for high school and university. I started working as soon as I turned 18. I was always doing the best that I can to manage on my own.

Thing is, we don't notice how this creeps into all aspects of our life... I was so independent and reliable at work that I didn't ask for help, in fact, I was relied upon to help others. I was so independent at home that my husband got used to me taking care of things. I was so independent that I never asked my friends for help. My standard answer to people asking if I needed help was "I'm okay. Thank you."

I didn't realize that I was cutting myself off from other people. And I knew I felt alone but I didn't know why.

When I woke up to this realization, I started making some concious decisions to change. I asked my sister for help managing our condo downtown. I asked my friend to pick us up from the docks after we dropped off our car. We asked our real estate agent for help finding contractors to fix what's needed in the house. We accepted help from our landlady in France in the form of contacts to help ourselves get established.

And with each situation where we accepted help (whether it was effective or not), we started to feel more and more blessed. We started feeling safer in this universe. I started to feel less alone. I started to feel that I am part of a bigger picture that isn't chaotic but heading towards something good.

I encourage you to think about your life. When you feel the world is against you and everything is going wrong, do you feel alone and disconnected? When you are embraced in the care of your community, family or network, don't you feel safe and protected? What are some steps you could take to bring yourself into connection with others?

With love and gratitude,

Michelle Skalnik

Ma Vié Belle!