Of Lemons and Lemonades

This is one of the things that is like our grandfather's stories. We've heard it said so many times, we can finish it for them... 

Yet, I've seen so many instances of it in our lives...

Some call it "taking responsibility vs being a victim".

Some call it "turning challenges into opportunities".

Some call it "growth mindset vs fixed mindset".

What it all comes down to is...

What do you do when challenges arise?

Do you take the lemon or do you make lemonades?

I can talk about people who have climbed the ladder of success this way. 

There's so many posts and self-help books written about this. 

We all agree hand's down, that this is the way to go. 

But... how come so many people aren't doing this?

Listen to your colleagues at work complain about the project.

Listen to your family telling you it can't be done.

Listen to your friends talk about the "right choice".

Can you spot it?

The bad news is, chances are you're doing it too. It's our brain's default negative bias that swings us in this direction.

But instead of explaining this phenomenon (look up "negative bias" in YouTube or Google), 

what I would like to share is: how do you know you're choosing the lemon?

You'll know because... you will feel constricted within.

Constricted as in heaviness, or nervousness, or anxiety.

Contrast this to lightness, or ease, or joy.

You'll know because... you will be using key phrases like:

I can't ... dance, ask them for help, give this up, etc.

It's not possible ... to make this happen, to change, to get better, etc.

No way ... can this work, will I get it, they will respond, etc.

There's power in awareness of ourselves.

When we look to others to make the first move, 

when we wait for life to give us the perfect opportunity,

when we don't do anything until we feel expert at it,

we are robbing ourselves of our power.

Take back that power by asking.. "What can I do?"

Instead of "What should they have done?"

Instead of "What went wrong in the situation?"

Instead of "Why didn't I do anything?"

Try it for a week. See the difference in your choices.

The power of asking the right questions is invaluable.

This is what an excellent coach does, asking the right questions to lead you to your answers instead of going in circles.

Check out my approach here.

Michelle Skalnik

Transformational Coach

Ma Vié Belle!